REFECTIONS

Growing up was somewhat of a mystery. As I look back at my first 30 years I have to wonder who I was. What made me tick? Sometimes, I feel that I was guided by a strong inner force. An inner feeling that has guided my daily life. It protected me and watched over me and my actions. I was always serious and conscienentious. That was the way I was portrayed in a short pictorial piece in the Tuley Review. Maybe more introvert than extrovert. I never developed many close friends or relationships. I had friends but not to the extent of being dependent upon them. I would describe myself as standoffish and careful and probably naieve. I was protective of my privacy and inner feelings. I was a loaner and independent in my thinking and decisions. Some could describe me as stubborn.

My major weakness was social awareness. I was socially lazy and quiet. I could conduct a conversation and be friendly, but my goals were my priority. My life was focused on school and success. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I considered it important to venture into social activities. In my senior year I started to attend Tuley Socials, by that time few seniors were in attendance. I did little to socialize with the opposite sex. For the most part I knew little about the personal lives of my fellow students. For example when it came time to go to the senior prom I made a serious mistake by asking a female classmate to the prom. Fortunately she had a date and said no. Some how this became a hot topic around school and my friend Tony asked me what I was doing, didn’t I know she was the most promiscuous girl in school... I told him I had no idea and thanked him for telling me. Wow! Tony was what you call a real friend, honest and straight forward... The next girl I asked said “NO”. Nothing like rejection. Finally I asked a junior in one of my classes and she said yes. Again I didn’t know much about her. She was intelligent and attractive and to my surprise had been a finalist in a Miss Photoflash Contest. Later that summer her picture appeared on the cover of Parade Magazine. Some were amazed that she would say yes. My answer was, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. Maybe it was my hidden charm or maybe she liked me; I don’t know.

Guided by my inner instincts I dated very little. My concentration was on school and studying. I never felt I could afford a girlfriend or the time to devote to a relationship. At DePaul I would go to the ROTC social affairs and a few fraternity dances. Charlie Stulga fixed me up with my first date to the Military Ball. I doubled with Eugene Sit. Normally someone would come to my rescue and set me up with a date. Although, while working at North American Insurance I spotted a girl who worked in the same building that I wanted to ask to a dance, I garnered the courage and approached her and she said yes. It’s hard to meet and introduce yourself to someone you don’t know. Maybe, I was underestimating my abilities.

The problem of finding dates continued when I was in the National Guard. There were always social events which required a date. I remember a sergeant, who worked at Northwest Memorial Hospital, would set me up with some blind dates. In fact he set me up with the most memorable blind date of all time. The girl lived somewhere on the North side with several roommates. When I entered the apartment I got the impression, from the chatter of two of her roommates, that she was using me and not being fair. In fact she was anxious about her date after the date. It appears the girls would swap the apartment on certain nights and had to find places to stay... Well, I escorted her to the dance and I was uncomfortable with the situation. The corker came when it was time to take her home. While driving she said she spotted her brothers car and that I should follow it. Well, this was dangerous and stupid as I sped along like a fool following the so called car... She finally directed me to where she wanted to go for her rendezvous. That was classic, I call it “FOLLOW THAT CAR”. Joe also introduced me to a Polish girl who was an RN at Northwestern. Since I was getting older I felt maybe I should take her out a few times and get to know her before the dance. Mistake, by the time the dance came around she thought I was serious. No cigar. That was scary, and the faster the dance was over the better. I guess I wasn’t always very caring and considerate in some of these situations. I always looked upon it as just a date. Someone wrote a book about it called ”He’s Not That Much Into You.” I wasn’t looking to get married. But again, the opposite can be true, you may like someone and the other person may not care for you...

Fortunately my mother realized I was getting older and that it was time to find someone to marry. My mother was a smart lady. She didn’t want me to be a lonely bachelor. We lived across the alley from Delores Shaefer the wife of Chet Shaefer. I guess my mother and Delores talked about me and came up with a plan. Chet Shaefer was having a Polka Stage Show at Kelly High School and could use someone to collect and sell tickets. It was on a Sunday evening and he had booked some of the top Polka Celebrities: Marion Lush, Ampolaires, Wesoly Stas, Jr. Zelinski, Zosia Dudek and others. When the show ended Delores introduced me to Carol Mendygral. Carol was Delores’ niece. Wow, I was impressed. She was an attractive blond, dressed nicely in a brown fur collar coat with a white scarf. It was love at first sight; I had found my Polish Girlfriend. When I went home I was excited to tell my mother that I met a great girl. My next step was to get a date. I asked Delores for the phone number. That took a while because her daughters, Alice and Janie where playing games. First I had to buy some Girl Scout Cookies before I got the number. I called Carol and she agreed to go out. She was foxy because she kept telling me she had several boy friends: Ralph, who was serious and John. So there was competition. She was not about to make this easy. For our first date we went downtown to see “Georgy Girl”. Before going out Carol had to complete her chores of washing floors. I was taking out Cinderella. This time I was not about to walk away and not try. This was to be a challenge. At last I had found my dream and Polish girlfriend. Carol strung me along for awhile and finally agreed to go steady. Within a year we got engaged. I remember going to her house on her days off for dinner. She would prepare the meal and then we would go out. She liked to dance, so after some dance lessons, we would go Polka or Ballroom Dancing. One of our most memorable dates was in March 1967. We had planned to go bowling in Oak Lawn and did not realize that a tornado had struck the town. As we drove down 95th street we saw the devastation that had taken place; the High School had been ripped in half and cars and buses thrown upside down. When I got home that evening I found that the Guards had been calling me to report for duty.

When we met Carol was working at the University of Chicago Hospital in Hyde Park. After starting to date someone stole Carol’s car. It was a new Chevy Malibu. It wasn’t badly damaged and we recovered it from an auto pond on 79th Street. The University didn’t provide much security and Carol did not feel safe. She left the hospital for a job closer to home, Holy Cross Hospital. Before we got married she switched to Christ Community Hospital in Oak Lawn. She continued to work at Christ for over 30 years. When we met I was unemployed. That wasn’t good. After some time I found work at Reliance Trading at 37th and Iron Streets.

Our courtship lasted about a year before we got engaged and started planning our wedding. We were alike in many ways and comfortable with our decision. We knew we would marry at St. Turibius and needed a nice hall. We set the date for June 22, 1968. Originally we wanted Przyblo’s House of the White Eagle, which was in the process of building a new banquet facility in Niles. The problem was that the premises would not be ready by our wedding day. They still owned the Andrew House on Division near California, but the neighborhood was questionable. Carol’s father knew that they were opening a hall at 57th and Kedzie called Pressmans Hall. It was run by the Lelkos. It was brand new with a reputation for good polish food. The Lelko’s would also eventually run the Landmark on Archer Road. Of course we wanted a Polka Band. We went to the dances to review the ones we liked. In the end we selected the Ampolaires. I remember going to Central Paints on Central and Fullerton and talking to Roman Travers and Dick Zimber. We booked the band... Our photographer was Mr. Sims from Jans Photos and our flowers came from Sherwood Florist on Pulaski. In selecting our bridesmaids and ushers we selected relatives; the bridesmaids were Carol’s cousin Michalene Wojs, my cousin Roberta Weglarz, her sister Christine, my niece Pat Chapan, and her aunt Camille Fudala. The ushers were my nephew Michael Chapan, my cousin James Weglarz and Carol’s cousin Frank Fudala ,her brother James Mendygral and my nephew Donald Holod..

Before the wedding we had a bridal shower in her mother’s basement on 56th and Hamlin. It was held on a Sunday afternoon. This was to be a very historic date because it was the weekend that Martin Luther King was killed. Many of our North side relatives were afraid to travel to the Southside. Fortunately everything was safe and Carol had a wonderful shower.

June 22nd arrived and it was beautiful sunny Saturday in the 70”s. The tension was rising and there was a lot of stress and doubt. I believe I got Carol upset over something, so I sent her a red rose from our garden on Iowa Street. I guess she still loved me because she didn’t back down... Mass was at 11 A.M. and performed by Father Al Cicora. After mass we had a luncheon at The Golden Ox on Archer Ave. In the evening we gathered at Pressman’s. We had about 250 – 300 guests. We had invited relatives, friends and neighbors. My godfather Tony Bidus and his wife Francis came from Florida for the wedding. At the end of the evening we had to pay the Zelkos and the band. We had a check for the hall and the band wanted cash. We had to tap some of the envelopes to pay the band. We paid for our own wedding and broke even. When we were about to leave we found someone had let the air out of my tires and filled the backseat with balloons. I didn’t appreciate the humor. Fortunately I had an air pump and filled the tires. The bride and groom were now ready to go to their new home. Prior to the wedding we rented, cleaned, painted and furnished an apartment behind Max’s Barbershop at 8308 S. Kedzie. We were now off to our new home as Mr. and Mrs. Tarasuk.

The day after the wedding, popravina in Polish, we prepared to leave for our honeymoon at the Emerald Beach Resort in the Bahamas. We said goodbye to our parents and were off for 7 days. When we came back it was time to adjust to married life and the reality of new and growing responsibilities.